The Wife as a Ruler

Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully (I Timothy 5:14)

JP: I found this article helpful. Perhaps we can discuss this when we get to I Peter 3:1-7!

The Wife as a Ruler


As the apostle Paul is urging young women to marry, he lets a very interesting comment fall in passing. “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (1 Tim. 5:14). The word translated here as “guide the house” is oikodespotein. The wife is to be the ruler or despot of the home. This means that when she tells you to take your shoes off at the door, you will take your shoes off. And cheerfully.

This does not contradict what the Bible teaches elsewhere about the husband’s authority and headship. In the family, the husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head of the Church. He is also the head of the home, and has the responsibility to protect and provide for that household. He is responsible to lead, and he has the authority to do so.

But wise leadership never micro-manages, and never insists upon the prerogative of making all decisions that have to be made. To take an example from elsewhere, the business world is filled with failures who were undone because they were highly-competent control freaks. In contrast to this, a good leader in business is one who finds or cultivates competent men to whom he can delegate responsibility.
Something similar happens in marriage. A man should marry a woman whom he can trust. “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her” (Prov. 31:11). But trust defined in the context of marriage is not simply believing that she will do well if any problem ever comes up. And it involves far more than thinking she will not go out honky-tonkin’. Trust here means entrusting, and something has to be there to be entrusted. In a godly home, that which is entrusted is the management of the home, and the inhabitants thereof.

Of course, the husband is not “under” her command – she ought not to boss him around like he is one of the kids – but at the same time, he is called upon to honor the standards which she establishes for the home. This will ensure that everyone in the house will see that he honors and respects her judgments. He married her; he entrusted these things to her. In respecting her judgments, he is standing by his own judgment.

So let’s make it practical. Let’s say Mom wants everyone to wash up in the mudroom, and not in the kitchen. She wants them to put their dirty clothes in the laundry room, as opposed to their ongoing attempts to make a compost pile out of them in the back of the closet. She wants everybody’s “stuff” to find its way away from the pile at the front door. She wants shod feet off the couch. She wants plates rinsed and put in the dishwasher. All these desires have the force of law, and everyone, including her husband, should honor them. In a very real way, the home is her domain. She is not the head of the home, but she is the executive of it.

If her wishes are routinely disregarded, this means that her husband has failed to invest her with his authority, and has failed to act as an example for the rest of the household. A sure indicator of an unhappy household is the ignoring of Mom, and the head of that home is an abdicating father.


Love one another fervently with a pure heart

JP: Our lesson for Sunday September 26, 2010 will be 1 Peter 1:17-25

Image source:

Oh! what a pillow on which to rest your aching head!

1 Peter 1:6, “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials”

JP: This was a blessing to me today and I pass it on for you to be blessed as well. Relates to our study of 1st Peter. The image above is entitled “Weary” © Paul Perich. More information on the artist may be found here.

Oh! what a pillow on which to rest your aching head! (John MacDuff, “The Faithful Promiser”)

“If need be!” 1 Peter 1:6

Three gracious words!

Not one of all my tears has been shed for nothing! Not one stroke of the rod has been unneeded–or might have been spared! Your heavenly Father loves you too much, and too tenderly–to bestow harsher correction than your case requires!

Is it loss of health–or loss of wealth–or loss of beloved friends? Be still! there was a needs be! We are no competent judges of what that “needs be” is; often through aching hearts we are forced to exclaim, “Your judgments are a great mystery!” But God here pledges Himself, that there will not be one unnecessary thorn in the believer’s crown of suffering. No burden too heavy will be laid on him; and no sacrifice too great will be exacted from him. God will “temper the wind–to the shorn lamb.”

Whenever the “need be” has accomplished its end–then the rod is removed, the chastisement suspended, and the furnace quenched!

“If need be!” Oh! what a pillow on which to rest your aching head–that there is not one drop in all your bitter cup–but what a God of love saw to be absolutely necessary!

Do not too curiously be prying into the “WHY it is?” or “HOW it is?” But be satisfied that “SO it is,” and, therefore, that all must be well!

Trust His loving heart–even though you cannot trace His mysterious hand!

Be holy, for I am holy

JP: Study notes for Sunday September 19th. Our text is 1 Peter 1:13-16. Image source: Cursor Monkey Creative

Peter’s traveler’s motif

JP: I find Peter’s use of traveling words and phrases of interest.

Pilgrims / Exiles: “To the pilgrims of the Dispersion in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia” (1 Peter 1:2) (ESV: “To those who are elect exiles of the dispersion”)

Reservation: “to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you” (1 Peter 1:4)

Time of your stay (tour of duty!): “conduct yourselves throughout the time of your stay here in fear” (1 Peter 1:17)

Entrance: “for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:11)

Tent: “Yes, I think it is right, as long as I am in this tent, to stir you up by reminding you, knowing that shortly I must put off my tent, just as our Lord Jesus Christ showed me.” (2 Peter 1:13-14)

Departure: “Moreover I will be careful to ensure that you always have a reminder of these things after my decease” (2 Peter 1:15) (ESV: “after my departure” / Greek: ἔξοδος / exodos)

Food for thought on the structure of 1 Peter 1:3-12

JP: From Hiebert’s I Peter , p 56-57

Tested by fire

Our lesson for Sunday 9/12 is from 1 Peter 1:3-12