An Open Letter to Fetal Humans

JP: Pointedly satirical warning about abortion in the form of an open letter to unborn fetuses.

Four Reasons You Might Be Aborted: An Open Letter to Fetal Humans


To my fellow humans who are entering that most precarious stage of human development.

Let me begin by congratulating you on making it through the embryonic stage. Too many of our fellow humans don’t even make it as far as you have now. Many died of natural causes. Others were cut down prior to implantation by an abortifacient. Still others are trapped in the freezers of IVF clinics, in suspended animation awaiting their fate.

You have made it to the second stage of life. But you’re not out of the woods, as they say, until you’re out of the womb. In America there are roughly 250 abortions for every 1000 live births, which means that you have (all other things being equal) a 1 in 5 chance of still being aborted. Here are 4 reasons you might be aborted and what you can do to avoid this gruesome fate.

Four Reasons:

  1. Don’t be the unlucky third in series of IVF induced triplets
  2. Don’t be anything other than “chromosomally normal”
  3. Don’t be a girl
  4. Don’t squint


There are other things that would increase your chances of making it through gestation. For example, if you are in the womb of a white 27-year old happily married Catholic woman who has never had an abortion and has a household income of $60,000+ a year, you are fairly safe. Unfortunately, while your parents can choose you (even choose to kill you), you can’t choose your parents.

Your best hope is to pray and hope that others are praying for you too. With any luck you’ll survive the fetal stage of development and move on to infancy, adolescence, and adulthood. Once you reach this stage of life you’ll be able to join other Americans in exercising one of our most cherished and incontrovertible rights: the right to kill a fetus for any reason you choose.

Image from Baptists for Life

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